No Wine, No Stay

Mom, calling upstairs – “Hayley!?”

Me – “What?!”

Mom – “Do you want a glass of wine?!”

Me – “No, ta!”

Sound of the front door opening and then closing.

Me – “…Did she just leave the house because I said I didn’t want wine?”

Nan-isms

On the Jungle Book remake:

We’re not watching that again, I know all the lines. I’m the stand-in in case anything goes wrong.

On the film Titanic:

I’ve seen that bloody film so often I know the time on the Captain’s watch.

On a TV series on Netflix:

Emma: We watched this before but I don’t remember what happens in it…

Nan: I do.

 On me leaving the house:

Me: Right, I’m going now. I’ll pop down again soon.

Nan: Is that a promise or a threat?

Never Alone

Me, checking Friday night plans – “Is it just me tomorrow until you get back from work? Please tell me it is.”

Mom – “No, Matt and Charlotte will be in but they’re going out.”

Me – “…”

Mom – “So they’ll be here but not here.”

Me – “…”

Mom – “You know what I mean!”

Me – “I do. I just think there are better ways to go about it.”

Sit-In-Plain-Sight and Seek

Mom, calling downstairs – “Hayley?”

Me – “Yeah?”

Mom – “Where are you?”

Me – “Well… I’m in the house…”