Tag Archives: Line of the Day

Every time I see some light at the end of the tunnel… the tunnel caves in and these weird ass, blind cannibals who have lived underground for years start chasing me down.

Me – suffering a hellish work month set to end approx. 2018

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They don’t half come up with some shit. I did hear him saying at one point:

‘We work 9-5 in an office 5 days a week when we should be utilising our current technology; for a modern company we are very old fashioned with how we work.’

Which he countered with OH LOOK HOW CRAZY AND INNOVATIVE WE ARE BY MAKING EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE MOVE SEATS DEPENDING ON CLIENT RATHER THAN TEAM!!

Fuck. Off. With your turn of the century, two hour long PowerPoint presentation and shove it up your arse.

After the world’s most boring, uninformative company meeting known to man.

The thought of being pregnant doesn’t bother me. It’s the thought of what happens when I stop being pregnant.” – Me, being asked if I am too scared to have children

(Note: I am 25. I do not have children, I do not want children, I hate children and anything I – no doubt accidentally – produce will be the literal spawn of Satan. I don’t mean does drugs, robs and commits general crime sort of Satan. I mean the world starts shaking, the ground splits open and the whole hospital is dragged down into hell with me sort of Satan. You know. Me 2.0.)