Monthly Archives: February 2018

Lifeline

CW1: “Urgh! This task I’m doing is too long.”

CW4: “Your face is too long.”

Me: “Your lives are too long.”

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CW1 – “Open the blinds, CW4! Let’s get some light in here!”

CW4 – “True, the sun isn’t out so there shouldn’t be any glare.”

 

CW4 opens the blinds

 

CW2 – “My god….”

CW3 – “The lack of colour out there is impressive…”

Me – “It’s like we’re experiencing a flash back and the scenes are all muted down.”

CW2 – “Close the blinds, this is depressing!”

CW1 – “Wait!”

CW2 – “I can’t wait until we’re told to take it down because it’s a fire hazard or something.”

Me – “The giant ball of fire would never turn on us. Look how happy he is to see us.”

Think.

Our company made us travel down to London to take part in some awful training session where they collected 80 people in one tiny apartment (called an anomalous space because… London) and ultimately tried to nicely shoehorn everyone into one of four personality categories.

After reading some random statements and scoring them 1-4 based on how accurate they were about ourselves we put our scores into a turn of the century excel doc and out popped our answers. You were either a Thinker, Mover, Connector or Planner.

Either way this has absolutely no bearing on our lives other than to perhaps help the company understand in how many ways people could really despise their jobs and ultimately never feel any type of joy.


CW3: “I can’t be bothered with these calls…. that’s because I’m a ‘Mover’.”

CW1: “Fucking Mover… CW4, what were you? I bet you were a Connector.”

CW4: “Actually I was a Planner, but I think the spreadsheet was broke.”

CW2: “Yeah, my team was getting really angry about their results.”

CW1: “Wow…. Hayley, what were you? I bet you were a Thinker.”

Me: “Yep, and I can’t help thinking you are all absolute pricks.”

CW4: “HA! I like it, that was quick.”

Me: “I got nothing but thinking time.”