On the Jungle Book remake:
We’re not watching that again, I know all the lines. I’m the stand-in in case anything goes wrong.
On the film Titanic:
I’ve seen that bloody film so often I know the time on the Captain’s watch.
On a TV series on Netflix:
Emma: We watched this before but I don’t remember what happens in it…
Nan: I do.
On me leaving the house:
Me: Right, I’m going now. I’ll pop down again soon.
Nan: Is that a promise or a threat?
Nan – “Well the other day when I watched the weather it said Tuesday would be sunny. But now it’s just said it’s going to be cloudy with some rain. I’m going to wait for ‘Countryfile’ and see what they say.”
Me – “Do you particularly trust the ‘Countryfile’ weather forecast?”
Nan – “Oh yes. I’m much more likely to believe what they say about Tuesday.”
Me – “What’s happening Tuesday?”
Nan – “Nothing.”
Me – “…… Then what are you so bothered about the weather for?!”
Auntie Jan – *Shrugging*
Nan – “When we had the new Virgin Box we lost all of the stuff we’d recorded…”
Auntie Jan – “Oh God….”
Nan – “And I went to watch Polar Express and they told me it was gone! I cried!! I was actually crying! I love Polar Express!!”
Auntie Jan – “Lee noticed it was on TV the other day and I told him for the love of God record it for Mother.”
Nan – “I was so upset!”
Me – “Oh my God… That’s like the dream I had that Matt had stolen and sold my copy of Con Air! In the dream I was crying and when I woke up I had actually been crying in my sleep. I love Con Air….”
Nan – “This family just isn’t right.”