Monthly Archives: July 2017

The ‘H’ is Silent

CW4 – “I can do an impression of everybody here! Except for Hayley and CW2.”

CW6 – “Do CW5!”

CW4 – “That’s easy! I do his all the time, it’s just posh.”

CW6, in a ridiculously posh accent – “Hello there.”

CW5 – “That’s not how I speak!”

CW6 – “Turning up with a top hat and a cane. And a monocle.”

CW4, in a posh accent – “Hello. I’ve just come back from shooting peasants in the park.”

Me – “Peasants!?

CW6 – “Did you mean pheasants?”

Me – “He’s so rich he has disposable peasants on his land.”

CW4, to CW5 – “Right, come on, let’s go to the gym. I’m pumped.”

Me – “Shooting peasants will do that to you…”

CW6, in a posh accent – “Tally-ho gents!”

CW3 – “Are you not going with them?”

Me – “Don’t be silly, we’re from Wolverhampton. We are the peasants. CW6 can’t leave the office with them, he’ll be shot and plucked…”

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Mortgage 101

Me – “I don’t want to see the mortgage advisor later, he’s cutting into my Friday drinking time.”

CW1 – “Drink at the mortgage advisors.”

Me – “Yeah, he’ll definitely say ‘you seem like a responsible young adult to lend money to’.”

CW4 – “I’m seeing a mortgage advisor later too.”

Me – “Am I…. Am I going with you?”

CW4 – “Ha! No. It’s because I had to phone them the other week and I went ‘Look, yeah…’.”

Me – “Oh my god is that what you opened with? You also seem like a responsible adult that can be trusted with lots of money. I feel good about us getting these mortgages CW4!”

Mystery Getaway

CW1 – “Why does your holiday say 1st – 9th inclusive?”

CW6 – “To say I’m off those days too.”

CW1 – “Oh right… Well I declined it anyway.”

CW6 – “What!?”

Me – “Yeah, I deleted it too. In all fairness I delete everyone’s holidays when you email them over. I treat you all fairly.”

CW3 – “Yeah, then you wonder where are.”

Me – “No, I never wonder that.”