Tag Archives: Jobs

This Ain’t Your Mother’s Maiden Name

Don’t allow me to choose my own security questions.



Lists: Jobs That Are Not Mine

So, it’s that time of the year when I need to start thinking about my car insurance for January. Of course, this means filling out all of those online forms to get a quote.

Now, things always get pretty interesting when filling out my occupation… I work in digital marketing which is *ahem* – an umbrella term for the marketing of products or services using digital technologies, mainly on the Internet, but also including mobile phones, display advertising, and any other digital medium. Thanks Wikipedia!

Digital marketing, or anything connected to it, is never included on these drop down lists because apparently the Internet is a sentient being that needs no management. So now that I am no longer needed here I decided to use the Hastings Direct occupation list as a job search for my new, not-as-niche-as-digital-marketing, career path.

Here are a few options (and remember, these are main occupations):

  • After Dinner Speaker
  • Aircraft Surface Finisher
  • Almoner
  • Amusement Arcade Worker
  • Announcer
  • Archdeacon
  • Archbishop
  • Armourer
  • Asbestos Remover
  • Au Pair
  • Bacon Curer (my new career path)
  • Balloonist
  • Basket Worker
  • Bishop
  • Bottler
  • Chicken Chaser
  • Chicken Sexer
  • Choirmaster
  • Circus Proprietor
  • Coach Sprayer
  • Curtain Hanger
  • Director of Environment
  • Diver
  • Doll Maker
  • Embalmer
  • Evangelist
  • Expedition Leader
  • Fortune Teller
  • Gambler
  • Juggler
  • Kissogram Person
  • Meat Inspector
  • Monk
  • Ostler
  • Pearl Stringer
  • Progress Chaser
  • Water Diviner

There are so many more occupations I could take up but these were my favourite and, in all honesty, I’m now really depressed that I’m not a Bacon Curer.

It doesn’t matter anyway, I still haven’t been able to finish my car insurance because, when adding an additional driver, I don’t believe the question:

‘When did Driver 2 get their driver’s lisence?”

Can be answered with:

‘Ooh, it was a long time ago now….”