Tag Archives: First Home


Kieran: “So, the house survey is done and they’ve found that it’s built on a…”

Me: “Indian burial ground!”

Kieran: “…. No. A coal reserve.”

Me: “Fucks sake. The Black Country is so boring.”


Mortgage 101

Me – “I don’t want to see the mortgage advisor later, he’s cutting into my Friday drinking time.”

CW1 – “Drink at the mortgage advisors.”

Me – “Yeah, he’ll definitely say ‘you seem like a responsible young adult to lend money to’.”

CW4 – “I’m seeing a mortgage advisor later too.”

Me – “Am I…. Am I going with you?”

CW4 – “Ha! No. It’s because I had to phone them the other week and I went ‘Look, yeah…’.”

Me – “Oh my god is that what you opened with? You also seem like a responsible adult that can be trusted with lots of money. I feel good about us getting these mortgages CW4!”