Who’s Who

Please note: when Mom says ‘Gary Oldman’ she pronounces this as ‘Gary Old Man’

Me and Kieran entered the living room halfway through a film she was watching

Kieran – “Oh, it’s got Kevin Costner in it.”

Mom – “It’s also got whatshername in it… Him! Tommy Lee Jones!”

Me – “Whatshername… Tommy Lee Jones….”

Mom – “And it’s got that man who played the Oldman vampire.”

Kieran – “Gary Oldman?”

Mom – “Yeah!”

Me – “Mom… do you think Gary Oldman is an actual vampire? And the film ‘Dracula’ was just a bizarre documentary of his life?”

Mom – And it’s got Ryan…”

Me and Kieran – “Gosling?”

Mom – “No, the one that was married to Scarlett Johnson.”

Me – “Oh dear Christ…”

Kieran – “Oh look, there’s Gary Oldman the vampire!”

Me – “Bit brave, meeting everyone on the beach…”

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